Today is your birthday and I keep thinking about this time last year when our life was so perfect and now you're not here! Jean and Tony came up today until Tuesday and Helen and the girls came for brunch before going to John and Marion's for their Christmas - we had a bottle of champagne and raised a glass to you. All of us went to the Bells of Ouseley for dinner (my treat) at 5.30pm to pay tribute to you on this special day. Little Max said we should sing "For he's a Jolly Good Fellow" to you instead of Happy Birthday! Martin has been with me all day doing some jobs for me and sorting out the garage - we could almost hear you saying - "don't throw that out - you'll need it one day!" Also I need to tell you that a BIG star has been shining over our home all over Christmas and tonight - is that you John watching over me? I truly hope it is. You are in my heart and head always - I love and miss you so much darling, it hurts. The intensity of our relationship is reflected in the intensity of my grief. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx