ALL THE FIRSTS! I have just returned from my first holiday without you my darling - I went on a week's Mediterranean cruise with Pat and although it was enjoyable it wasn't the same without you! I really felt it when I returned to our home on Sunday evening and you weren't with me! I've now completed ALL the firsts without you since you died - my birthday, your birthday, our children's, grandchildren's and friends birthdays, Christmas, New Year, Valentine's Day, our anniversary, the anniversary of your death and funeral and numerous other events which we shared. Life is just so empty without you - you were so special, so much fun and everything is just not the same anymore. The family all miss you so much too. How am I going to live the rest of my life on my own? I hope things will get easier when I move into my new home. All my love always xxxxxxxxxxxxx